What is a Mother’s Grace? There are so many examples that I can not keep up with the beautiful women that inspire this title.
September is Childhood Cancer Awareness month. I personally know 3 moms that have lost their children to cancer. That seems like too many in my short life as a Mother. Last weekend my Husband and I joined the Purple society for their “walk for purple” which raised money for their foundation that supports research for incurable pediatric cancers.
Suzann Conti is the founder of the Purple Society along with her Husband Anthony.
I met Suzann for the first time with her beautiful Daughter Nitalia at a St. Jude’s Function as she was speaking about the rigors of her daughter’s cancer. The next time I met her she was attending her younger daughter’s first communion who was in the same class as my son. As their family walked up to receive communion together I saw Nitalia dragging her leg and struggling to walk. I thought to my self she must be failing and I offered a silent prayer for their family. Nitalia died within a year and I often thought of their family and wondered how Mothers Grace might help them. Within 6 months I began hearing about the Purple Society and how the Conti’s were starting this wonderful organization in Nitaltia’s name. I began to wonder as I always do how these Mom’s come back and start such an endeavor after such a heart wrenching loss? I have been through cancer, I am a 4 1/2 year survivor and I will tell you that it is gut wrenching, hope draining, anxiety producing day to day nightmare that is hard to live if you didn’t want to live so badly. There are 8-10 different Doctors to meet with, appointments daily, blood draws weekly, chemo, surgery, radiation, sickness, scans, waiting for scans, waiting for Dr.s to call with scan results, waiting for the next scans, talking about cancer, answering questions about cancer, feeling sick, feeling hopeless, reading statistics, not planning a future, draining your bank account, missing work, missing important dates with your kids, not taking vacations, not enjoying food, not exercising or playing sports. NOW……take all of that and I have, I have been through all of that, so then I take all of those experiences and horrible memories and I turn it around in my head and imagine it was one of my boys going through those things instead of me. I stop cold, get goose bumps all over my body and immediately try to think of something else to distract me, I get up go look for a snack, pet the dog, find something to read. But…these Moms of young children with cancer can’t distract themselves, they have to get up each morning and face the day. Face the day where their child is sick, missing out on life, and may die soon. How do these Moms’ go through this, watch their child die, then come back and start a 501c (not easy) get up each day and raise money, talk about cancer and their child that they lost? I loathe cancer and talking about it and I didn’t even die. I am in such admiration of these Moms. You only have to go to Suzann’s or Maya Thompson’s blog to feel the pain of their loss and you are reading about someone else that you don’t even know well and you are bawling your eyes out. What if it was your child? The other thing I think about is that all of this work is not going to bring their children back? SO WHY do they do it???? They do it so other Mom’s like you and I may not have to face this devastation in the future. It hurt SO BAD they don’t want us to feel such pain.
That is a Mother’s Grace, they have taken grief and turned it to Grace they have taken their pain and let parts of it morph into action. That is what a Mothers Grace is all about supporting these Mom’s and helping them make a difference in the lives of others..
“A life not lived for others is not a life.”
― Mother Teresa