Reaching beyond your own child!

This week Mothers Grace received an application from Graceful Mom, Linda who has college age daughters of her own. She wrote to us about Cammie, her own daughter’s best friend. Cammie has had a very rough life. Her parents have been divorced for the past 15+ years. Her mom left her dad when the kids were little, lives out of state, unemployed on food stamps and trying to raise Cammie’s sibling. Her dad lives nearby with his current wife and has recently disowned Cammie. Cammie lived with her mom and brother  up until 2 years ago when her dad promised her a better life if she moved out here: car, college tuition, stress free home life etc. (Cammie and her mom have a very volatile relationship. Her mom is always talking badly about her dad and putting Cammie in the middle.)  Living at her dad’s was very stressful for Cammie. He acted like she owed him the world for bringing her out here and getting her away from her mom. Long story short, the mom took the dad to court a few weeks ago for back child support for the brother who still lives at home and she won. Cammie’s dad has decided to take this out on her by taking away her computer, bike and money for tuition.
(So another child put in the middle of a parent’s war).
From what I understand Cammie is an amazing girl. Way beyond her years in maturity and getting straight A’s in college while working part time. She wants desperately to play on her college’s sports team but it is not allowed without health insurance and dues. This wonderful Mom nominated her for aid for the health insurance, but more importantly has taken Cammie under her wing and wrote poignantly about the real need for Cammie. Linda writes, “She came home yesterday and slept for about 13 hours straight. Today she asked if she could go to CostCo with me, wanted to watch me make chicken noodle soup and was lying on the floor chit chatting with me while I was working on the computer. My heart just aches for her. She just wants a family she can count on.”
Do you remember heading back to the safety of your parents home after long weeks of college and just wanting the familiar smells, sounds, and support? Sometimes all our kids need is that trip to Costco where they can cling to their parents and have time to share their lives and thoughts without being hurried, pressured or reprimanded. As I mentioned before I am on the quest this Holiday Season to find those special moments with my children, taking my cue from Linda, I got up this morning put on Christmas music ( I know a little early) and made muffins with my middle son. He seemed so eager to have private time with me while his younger brother was outside and his eldest slept the morning away. He sang every word to the Christmas songs I had on, you know “Last Christmas” by WHAM, remember WHAM, of course he corrected me that it was actually the GLEE cast singing this rendition. Anyway he followed me around sharing all of his thoughts about Christmas, Basketball, friends, etc and he even asked to learn how to crack an egg. (we went through $7 of organic brown eggs without me screaming …YIKES) I said to him, “what am I going to do during the Holidays when you are older and off with your wife and kids?” he said, Mom, don’t worry I will pack up the family and bring them here with our PANINI maker so you can make us sandwiches, because I am afraid my wife won’t have that under control”.  LOL, it really is the simple things that make the kids think of their youth fondly, like going to Costco, making muffins and Panini’s together. I pray for Cammie and am thankful for Moms like Linda trying to make the life of another child heal with unconditional time and love.

Posted in Blog on November 18th, 2012.

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